


The Scars We Carry

by Robron101



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Aaron and Robert as kids, Affairs, Alternate Universe, Angst, Best Friends, Death, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friendship, Growing Up Together, M/M, Sexuality Crisis, explicit for later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-24 11:26:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7506442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robron101/pseuds/Robron101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. <em>That wish Aaron made though is what sealed the deal. Him and Robert will be best friends forever, but as time goes by they'll also learn that there are many types of friendship and they're going to get to experience the most beautiful one of all. Love.</em></p><p>Aaron and Robert grow up as best friends during their childhood and younger teenage years, only for their relationship to turn into more as time goes by.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When They Were Young

**Author's Note:**

> Three parts. First part is them a kids, second part will be them as teenagers, and then the last chapter will be them as adults. 
> 
> Rated explicit for later chapters.

“Ow! I'm not doing this Robert,” little, age eight Aaron said. They're standing in the barn up at Emmerdale Farm, it's night and the only light is from one of the oil lamps Robert had lit for them to see by. Aaron touched the tiny cut on his hand, wiping away the drop of blood that pooled from it. He glared up at his best friend, wishing he hadn't snuck out of Wishing Well Cottage. If his mum wakes up while he's gone, he'll never hear the end of it, and will probably be forbidden to see Robert Sugden ever again. Of course that wouldn't stop either of the young boys. 

“Oh Aaron stop being a baby. Don't you wanna be best friends for life?” Nine year old Robert narrowed his eyes down at little Aaron, daring him to say no. 

“Well of course I do,” Aaron took his bottom lip between his teeth, biting down until it hurt. He stares at the long sharp knife in Robert's hand and he briefly wonders how his best friend came across it. _It's Robert_ , Aaron thinks, _he always has the coolest things_. “How do you even know it will work?” Aaron asked, feeling very doubtful, especially with that sharp knife gleaming in the light.

“Because everyone knows that if we mix blood we will stay friends forever. It's science Aaron!” Aaron rolled his eyes, knowing that his best friend is full of himself. “And I'm older and smarter than you, so I know what I'm talking about.” 

“You're a year older than me,” Aaron glared and aimed a kick at Robert's shin. “And I'm not stupid!” Aaron shouted as Robert jumped out of reach of Aaron's foot. 

“I never said you're stupid, I just said I'm smarter. Now stop being a baby and give me your hand,” and before Aaron can even move Robert grabs his hand and lays it palm side up in his. “It’s only going to hurt for a moment,” and he slashes the knife across Aaron's open palm. 

“Ow! That really hurt,” Aaron cries and jerks his hand from Robert's. He goes use his shirt against the cut to stop the blood flowing out, but Robert grabs his wrist to stop him. 

“You can't,” he warns him. “We need that for the pact. Just hold it like this,” he turns Aaron's hand palm side up again in front of him. “Now it's my turn,” and Aaron watches in fascination as his best friend slashes into his own, letting out long hiss as he does. “See not so bad,” he grimaces and grabs Aaron's injured hand by his wrist. 

“Now what?” Aaron asks as the blood drips down the side of his hand. 

“We clasp hands, letting our blood make us best friends forever.” Aaron nods once, closes his eyes tight, and lets Robert lock their hands together. He makes a silent wish as they hold injured hands, letting their blood mix together.

_I wish that me and Robert will stay best friends forever and we'll never lose each other._

Aaron opened his eyes to find Robert, grinning hugely down at him. Aaron returned his smile with a wide one of his own. They kept their hands clasped together until they heard a noise outside. Robert dropped Aaron's hand as they both jumped apart from each other. 

“What was that?” Aaron whispered. 

“I don't know,” Robert whispered back. He held a finger up to his lips, silently telling Aaron to keep quiet, and they creeped over to the barn doors. Robert peeked outside and his eyes widened at the sight of his father Jack heading in the direction of the barn. “Hide. Quick. It's my dad!” He pushed Aaron behind a bale of hay. “Leave after we've gone back to the house.” 

He ran back to his spot by the lamp when he noticed the knife on the ground. He picked it up, looked side to side for somewhere to stash it, and ran over to the corner of the barn where a wooden toolbox sat and threw it down in it. He ran back to the same spot he was before. 

“ROBERT?” Jack shouted just outside the door of the barn. “ARE YOU IN HERE?” Robert jumped just as Jack stepped into the barn. “What are you doing out here?” He asked as he took in the sight of his son dressed in his pajamas, standing next to the lit oil lamp, holding one hand behind his back. “What do you have behind your back Robert?” 

“Nothing,” he said honestly. Last thing he wanted was his father to see his injured hand. 

“Well then show it to me,” Jack demanded. Robert hesitated long enough for Jack to walk to him and grab hold his arm, pulling it out from behind his back. “Good lord,” he growled at the sight of Robert's cut hand. “How did you do this?” 

“I cut it on the old barbed wire you keep in here. It was an accident,” Robert stared at the ground, refusing to meets Jack's eye incase he could tell that Robert lied. 

“What are you even doing out here so late? It's almost midnight and I need you up early to come help with the cattle before you're off to school.” 

“I couldn't sleep,” Robert lied. He made sure to keep his eyes off of the spot where Aaron is currently hiding. “Thought some fresh air might help and I just wandered this way. Sorry if I frightened you.” 

“Well let's go back to the house so I can clean that hand up and then get you back in bed. Next time you have trouble sleeping, count sheep.” 

Jack led Robert out of the barn and the little boy looked once over his shoulder at the spot Aaron's hiding in. The burning cut on his hand stung, but it was a reminder that him and Aaron will be best friends forever. He hid his smile behind his hand as he followed his dad back to the house.

Aaron stood up and walked out of his hiding spot. They'd shut the oil lamp off before leaving so it's pitch dark in the barn. He stumbled around for a minute before finding the door and walked out. He set off at a quick pace for Wishing Well Cottage, his hand stinging from the slash Robert's knife made. He looked down at the wound and smiled. He ran a finger along the ridged cut, feeling happy that him and Robert will be best friends forever. He knows Robert was lying about the science of mixing their blood together but he still can't help feeling hopeful that it's a little bit true. 

That wish Aaron made though is what sealed the deal. Him and Robert will be best friends forever, but as time goes by they'll also learn that there are many types of friendship and they're going to get to experience the most beautiful one of all. Love. 

*****

Little Aaron ran up the road, tears streaming down his face all the while. He was so mad, and embarrassed, and hurt. Robert hadn't been at school today - most likely his father had kept him out to help on the farm - which meant Aaron had to deal with bullies on his own. Ross and Pete Barton to be exact. They lived for picking on Aaron, calling him names, making fun of his size, and sometimes even hitting him until he starts to cry. He really hated the days Robert isn't there to defend him. He can always make the Barton brothers leave Aaron alone.

Aaron cried and ran the whole way home, slamming the door loudly behind him as he did so. “Oi you!” Came his mother's annoyed voice from the kitchen. Chas stuck her head around the corner, but the sight of her tears stained face son made her expression soften. “Oh love,” she whispered and rushed to him, pulling Aaron's small body into her arms; cradling his head against her chest. “What happened?” 

“Pete and Ross Barton,” Aaron sniffled and reached to wipe away his tears. “They said mean things.” 

“Like what, love?” Chas asked. 

“Doesn't matter,” he mumbled, not wanting to repeat the embarrassing things they called him. “I just wanna go to my room.” 

“Are you sure?” She pulled him back so she could look into his upset face. “I can make you a snack and we can work on any homework you have. What d’you say?” 

“Can I go see Robert? He wasn't in school today,” Aaron asked. Chas' face fell at the sound of Robert's name. She didn't like the older boy, always getting her son into some kind of trouble. Like the other night when Aaron had come home real late and Chas had been up worrying about him, on the verge of calling the police when he came stumbling through the door with a nasty cut on his hand. She wouldn't let him go to bed until he confessed where he'd been, and she shouldn't have been surprised that he had been with Robert Sugden. 

“Aaron, that boy is nothing but trouble. You'd do well to stay away from him!” 

“He's my best friend, mum! Besides Robert's always sticks up for me against Pete and Ross. Please can I go see him?” She had to give credit where credit is due. Robert did always protect her son from the bullies at school and around the village. 

“Alright. You can see Robert,” Aaron's face broke out into a smile. He threw his school bag down by the door, hugged his mum once, and ran back out the front door at a fast pace. “BUT I WANT YOU HOME IN AN HOUR BEFORE TEA TO DO YOUR SCHOOL WORK!” 

“YES MA’AM!” Aaron shouted over his shoulder to his mum. He ran all the way up to Emmerdale Farm, rushing up to the Sugden home and banging on the front door. It flew open to reveal Sarah Sugden - Robert's step-mum, and age seven Victoria. She's standing beside her mum, hair in pigtails, and smiling brightly up at Aaron. 

“Hi Mrs. Sugden, is Robert here?” 

“Hi Aaron,” she said kindly, smiling sweetly down at him. “He's out at the stables with Jack. You can go and join them if you like but Jack might put you to work.” 

“That's fine,” Aaron shrugged. “I don't mind.” he waved to her as he ran back the way he came, past the barn, and took sharp right turn out to the stables. He paused just outside when he heard Robert shout. 

“I HATE DOING THIS!” 

“I don't care, Robert,” Jack said in a strained voice as if trying to control his temper with his son. “I need your help on this farm and if I say you're gonna do it, you're gonna do it!” 

“BUT I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL! IT'S NOT FAIR THAT YOU KEEP ME OUT. HIRE ANOTHER FIELD HAND!” 

“We can't afford another field hand! Besides it's good that you know all this for the future. One day this farm will be yours.” 

“I DON'T WANT IT! I HATE IT!” Something crashes down inside the stables, causing Aaron to jump and not seconds later did Robert come out, looking madder than an angry dog with rabies. “What are you doing here?” He growled and pushed past Aaron. “Shouldn't you be at home doing your school work or something?” He asked bitterly. 

“I can do it later. Your dad wouldn't let you come to school again?” He made it into a question even though Aaron already knew the answer. “I'm sorry. Nothing interesting happened, except the Barton brothers decided it was time to play another game of make Aaron cry.” 

He grinned over at Robert as they kept walking; Aaron having to try harder to keep up with Robert's longer legs. “When are you gonna stand up for yourself, Aaron? The Barton brothers are prats, you can easily take them.” 

“Both at once?” Aaron shook his head, feeling terrified at the prospect of taking on both Barton boys. “Sure and then you can explain to my mum why she'll be planning my funeral.” 

“Overdramatic,” Robert mumbled. “You know I can't be around all the time. You're gonna have stick up for yourself.”  
“Really, because this ugly cut on my hand says something different?” He holds up the wounded hand, and Robert smirked; holding up his own in return. “Best friends forever, right?” 

“Right!” 

“Why were you fighting with your dad?” Aaron asked as they went into the barn. Climbing the rungs of the ladder up to the loft part, sitting on the edge and swinging their legs over. Robert picked up a loose piece of hay, twirling it around his fingers and grimaced. 

“He keeps me out of school to help with the farm because we have no money for him to hire any help, and he wants me to take over when I'm older! He doesn't even think about what I want, just assumes that I'm gonna I do it without at fighting back. I don't want this stupid farm!” 

“What do you want?” Aaron asked. 

“I don't know. All I know is that I don't want to spend my life herding cattle and sheep, fixing tractors and slinging bales of hay. I want to leave this stupid village and have a life. Travel.” 

“Where would you go?” 

He smiled brightly over at Aaron, a twinkle in his eye. “A city. Somewhere far away from the smell of farms. Maybe London or Paris or New York! Anywhere but here! We could rent a flat, get minimal jobs until we hit big, and then live the rest of our lives playing around and relaxing.”

“We? Aaron said. 

“What, you think I'd do all that without my best friend? No way! You have to be there through it all!” 

Aaron couldn't help but grin widely, feeling amazing that Robert planned for them to be best friends forever. Pact or no pact. “'Course that's if my dad ever let's me leave this stupid place. I wish he had another son to take over or something. Then he'd leave me alone about it.” 

“You don't have to stay if you don't want to,” Aaron said. 

“Tell that to him,” Robert grumbled. “He'll never let me leave.” 

“We could run away,” Aaron suggested as a joke. 

“Might have to,” Robert said more seriously. “Maybe one day . . .” 

“Is he letting you return to school tomorrow?” 

Robert shrugged. “Don't know. Probably. Mum was right mad that he kept me out today so I'm sure I'll be going.” 

“Good,” Aaron nodded. 

“ROBERT?” Jack shouted from somewhere outside.

“No,” Robert whined. “Hey let's sneak out and go to yours.” Robert started to move and Aaron followed him down the ladder. 

“Won't your dad be mad?” Aaron asked. Robert snorted and rolled his eyes. 

“He's always mad at me for one reason or another. Come on,” Robert peaked outside the barn, looking both ways before motioning with his hand for Aaron to follow him. They set off at quick pace, breaking into a run when they heard Jack yell Robert's name again. 

“GET BACK HERE!” He demanded but Robert just laughed and kept running with Aaron following him. They slowed down when the farm was away in the distance.

“Robert I don't want you getting in trouble because of me,” Aaron frowned. “Your dad doesn't even like me.”

“Only because you're a Dingle. Who cares anyway? You're my best friend and nothing will change that. Hey,” Robert said and threw a wicked smile over at Aaron. “Catch me if you can munchkin!” He yelled and ran ahead of Aaron, laughter carefree and loud. Aaron shook his head but chased after Robert, laughing as well. He didn't catch him. Never could. He was too fast on his long legs for Aaron to keep up. 

They're both breathing heavily when they get to the Dingle home. Aaron grabs Robert 'round the neck, pulling him down, and messing up his hair. “Oi gerroff me!” Robert said and pinched Aaron's side making him yelp and let go of Robert. 

Robert grabbed Aaron, taking them both to the ground outside the Cottage. They roll around tickling and lightly hitting each other, screaming all the while. “What is going on out here?” 

Chas had opened the door, stepping out and took sight of the two boys rolling around on the ground. “Get up. You're turning yourselves into a right mess!” 

“Sorry mum,” Aaron said and pushed Robert off him. He stood up and began dusting the dirt off him. “Can Robert stay for tea, mum?” 

“Please,” Robert add giving his best dashing smile. Chas shook her head thinking a child his age shouldn't have perfected such a cunning smile at his age. She just knows he'll get her son into trouble one day. 

“I suppose, but you still have your homework to do. Come on in,” she turned and walked back inside with the boys following after her. 

“You can help me with my maths,” Aaron said as he picked up his school bag that was still by the door. “I really hate it.” 

“That's 'cause you're thick, mate.” Robert joked, earning a punch to his arm from Aaron. 

“Shut up,” Aaron said. “I'm not thick, you're just a nerd.” 

****

Aaron and Robert were walking home from school the next day, picking up rocks and seeing who could throw them farthest - with Robert beating Aaron each time - when out of nowhere two boys jumped out of the woods, cutting off their path. 

“Oh what do you two want?” Robert groaned at Pete and Ross Barton. “Don't you two prats have anything better to do than to hassle us?” 

“Awe look the little poofs are scared,” Robert rolled his eyes and Aaron took a step back so Robert was more in front. He'll never admit it but the Barton brothers scared him. 

“Watch what you say to me,” Robert growled, taking a step towards the other boys. Aaron grabbed onto his arm to hold him back. 

“Don't,” he whispered, “it's not worth it.” Robert stood his ground, glaring menacingly at both of them before he huffed and let Aaron start to pull him away. 

“Yeah,” Ross jeered at them. “Better do what your little queer boyfriend says.” They both laughed and that made Robert even angrier. He shook Aaron's hold off him and charged at Ross. He snapped his fist back, and threw his arm forward, letting his fist connect painfully with against Ross’ nose. Ross cried out and grabbed at his nose for a moment before letting go and throwing his own punch back at Robert, hitting him in the jaw. 

Robert jumped on top of him, hitting every inch of Ross Barton he could. Pete gave a shout and pulled Robert off of him and then both of them started hitting Robert. Aaron flinches at each scream of pain Robert let slip out and the sound of fists on his skin had him on the verge of tears. “Aaron!” Robert shouted. 

“Stay back or you'll get it too,” Ross warned. Aaron looked at Robert on the ground. His eyes pleading for help, and that was enough for Aaron to find the courage to help him. He ran forward and kicked Pete right between the legs and he fell over, grabbing at his crotch and groaned. Ross grabbed Aaron, pulled back his fist and punched him in the nose. Blood splattered out, and the pain made Aaron's eyes water. Robert was up and he kicked Ross in the leg, making his hold on Aaron loosen. Aaron shoved him away, and Robert punched him again in the face. He turned to the still out of commission Pete and kicked him in the stomach for good measure. 

“Let's get out of here,” Robert said and took hold of Aaron's arm and they began to run away. They didn't stop until they got up to the farm. “Your nose looks bad,” Robert said as he took in the sight of Aaron. 

“It feels bad. You look worse though,” the blonde boy had a split lip, black eye, and an ugly bruise printed across the right side of his cheekbone. His clothes were stained with blood and dirt and his shirt was torn in one spot.

“For a minute there I thought you were going to leave me,” Robert confessed, biting his bottom lip afterward. 

“Nah. What kind of best friend would that make me? You told me to stand up for myself,” Aaron shrugged. 

“Yeah but you stood up for me and that means more. Thanks,” they grinned at each other before Aaron reached over and punched his arm. “Alright stop acting like a girl. Let's go to yours. Think Sarah would let me get cleaned up without phoning my mum.” 

“Maybe,” Robert shrugged and threw his arm around Aaron. “We could always tell her we look like this because we were doing our civic duty to stop a couple of guys from beating up two defenseless boys.” 

“Wouldn’t that be us?” Aaron asked. 

“With the way Pete and Ross look like right now, I hardly believe that makes us defenseless. We're dangerous, Aaron.” 

“Yeah, dangerous in the head maybe.” Aaron joked and Robert smacked him upside the head but laughed. 

****

Aaron is nine and Robert is ten, and even though Aaron still considers Robert to be his best friend they haven't spent any time together lately. Not since that Andy moved in up at the farm. Anytime Aaron did see Robert he was with little orphan Andy and when it was just him and Aaron, all Robert could talk about was Andy this and Andy that. He really hated Andy Hopwood! 

“Why don't you go into the village. There's plenty of other children to play with, love.” Lisa said as her and Chas watched Aaron stare dejectedly out the window. He hadn't moved in ages, too busy thinking about what Andy and Robert must be up to. He misses his best friend so much! It's so unfair! 

“Or you could come and help me feed the chickens,” Lisa suggested.

“Oh love,” Chas said softly, hating to have her son so miserable. “You'll make other friends. Better friends. Forget about Robert Sugden, you're too good to be his friend if he treats this way.” 

“I'm going outside,” Aaron grumbled, sick of them trying to make him feel better. Once outside he starts to walk around the house to the back. He kicked a piece of scrap that always seems to be littering the place, and sat down on the back steps. 

“Stupid Andy,” Aaron muttered and touched the scar on the inside of his palm. He wishes he could make it go away the same way Robert has done with him. 

“Why the long face?” Aaron looked up to see his uncle Zak walking out of the woods and over to him. He took a seat next to Aaron, dropping a rucksack at his feet. 

“Robert doesn't want to be my friend anymore,” Aaron mumbled. 

“Oh. Well I'm sure that's not true. Have you talked to him?” 

“No,” Aaron said and scowled. “Haven't seen him in over two weeks and when I do all he can talk about is perfect Andy. He spends all his time with him now. It's unfair!”

“I’m sure Robert hasn't forgotten about you. The two of you are as thick as thieves. I'm sure he's just trying to get to know Andy better now that he's living with him. Why don't you try and spend time with both Robert and Andy? All three of you can be best friends.” 

“Because Robert was my friend first!”

“And Robert can't have other friends?” Aaron frowned up at Zak. Of course he could have other friends, he'd just appreciate it if Robert wouldn't ignore him so much. “Aaron, friends come and go and one day you won't even remember being friends with Robert.” Aaron touched the scar on his hand. It will always be a reminder of their friendship. He'll always remember. 

****

“Aaron!” Robert shouted from behind him, a little ways away. Aaron didn't even look at him as he kept on walking back home from school. “Hey, Aaron!” Robert shouted again. “Wait up!” It didn't take long for Robert to catch up with him. “Are you deaf?” He smiled over at Aaron and grabbed his arm to stop the younger boy. “I've been shouting for you. Why are you ignoring me?” 

“Me ignoring you? I think you've got that backwards, mate,” he growled and shook Robert's arm off. “Leave me alone, Robert!” 

“What did I do?” Robert asked as he kept following Aaron. “Talk to me?” 

“Why? Don't you have precious Andy to keep you company, or did he dump you and now you have to run back to me? Shove off, Robert!” 

“What did I ever do to you? Some best mate you are,” Robert snapped. “You're just jealous that I have someone else to spend time with and you don't! You're pathetic!” 

“I'm pathetic?” Aaron yelled at him, trying to ignore how deep Robert's words cut him on the inside. “Says the boy who's too cowardly to stand up to his father and dumps his best friend when a new face comes to town! I hate you Robert Sugden, and I never want to see you again!” He screamed and shoved Robert hard enough so he fell backwards on his bum. He ran away from, tears falling down his face all the way home. 

“Aaron?” Chas said as the door flew open. He slammed it shut behind him and ran upstairs to his bedroom, locking the door behind him, and throwing himself face down on his bed. He wept openly, the pain of losing his best friend being too much for him. “Aaron love?” Chas said softly outside the door and knocked. She tried the handle when he didn't answer and sighed when she found it to be locked. “Aaron, can I come in?”

“Go away!” he sobbed. 

“Aaron, please. Did Robert do something?” She asked, already knowing the tears he shed were for his friend. “Please love, let me in!” 

“Go. Away.” Aaron screamed, punctuating each word. “I never want to talk about Robert again!”

“Okay,” she said sadly. “Come down when you get hungry. I love you.” Aaron buried his face back in the pillow and cried some more.

****  
Everyone had heard about the quarry incident involving Andy and Robert, and how Andy had gotten his foot stuck underneath a large rock and couldn't move. How Robert had rushed to get Jack and he rescued Andy. Everyone was relieved to hear Andy was okay, except for little Aaron. Robert and Andy retold the account over and over to anyone who would listen as if it was the most fascinating news anyone had ever told. Him and Robert still weren't speaking. 

Whenever they saw each other they'd act like they were invisible or glare and sometimes say something nasty. Every time Aaron saw Andy his scarred hand burned with the temptation to knock him senseless for stealing his best friend. 

Aaron spent most of his time alone now. Chas tried to get him to make new friends but he didn't want to, too afraid he'd get hurt again just as he had with Robert. “I'm really starting to worry about him,” Chas said one evening to her brother Cain. She didn't know Aaron was at the top of the stairs listening in. “I don't want my son to be lonely but I can't get him to interact with anyone. What can I do Cain?” 

“I don't know,” he said sympathetically. “Force him to make friends.” 

“I can't force him to do anything and I wouldn't do that to him anyway. Honestly I could throttle that little prat Robert Sugden for doing this to him. I always knew that boy was trouble.” 

“Trouble or not he was Aaron's best friend. It's hard when kids lose their friends. In time Aaron will get over it and find new ones. Don't stress yourself over this.” Aaron went back to his room, laid down on his bed and tried not to think about how worried his mum had sounded for him. 

**** 

“Hey freak,” Ross Barton said one day as Aaron was walking home. It had been a little over a month since him and Robert had spoken last and gosh he missed him. He pushed Aaron who had to catch himself before he fell. “All alone again? Your little boyfriend dump you.” 

“Piss off “ he mumbled and tried to push past Ross. 

“What was that? What did you say to me?” Ross shoved him hard enough so he fell. Aaron braced himself for the punch he was sure to feel but it never came. 

“Oi! You leave him alone!” Aaron opened his eyes at the sound of two sets of feet running towards them. He looked up to see Andy and Robert standing between him and Ross. “Why don't you pick on someone your own size, Barton?”

“What like you two losers?” 

“Sure if you think you can take me and my brother,” Robert said. Aaron's jaw dropped at the name he called Andy. 

“Get lost, Ross,” Andy said and took a step towards him. 

“You're gonna regret this,” he snarled before walking away. 

“Are you alright?” It was Andy who asked and held his hand out for Aaron to grab so he could have help getting off the ground. 

“M’fine,” Aaron mumbled and took Andy's hand. He lifted Aaron off the ground who began to dust his backside off. 

“I told you, you need to stick up for yourself,” Robert said and smiled shyly at Aaron. “You can easily take a knob like Ross Barton.” 

“He's right,” Andy chimed in. “Ross is all talk. Next time he starts in on you, punch him.” 

“Easy for you two to say,” Aaron mumbled. “Two on one is better than one on one, believe me I know.” He grimaced at the memories of all the time Ross and Pete had jumped him. 

“Well next time you won't be alone,” Andy smiled at him and while Aaron wanted to glare and tell him how much he hated him he couldn't. He gave a small smile and nod at him. 

“Brother?” Aaron said. 

“Oh yeah,” Robert laughed. “Guess you haven't heard. My parents are adopting Andy,” he slung his arm around his new family member. “Andy’s gonna be a Sugden.” 

“Oh mate, I'm sorry,” Aaron joked. 

“Hey, watch it you!” Robert laughed a shoved Aaron. “My family's great, sometimes.” 

“No I meant sorry that he's gonna have to live with you,” Aaron jabbed. “He's horrible,” he mock whispered to Andy. 

“I'll show you horrible,” Robert laughed and grabbed Aaron around the neck, putting him in a headlock. 

“Let me go,” Aaron yelled and tried unsuccessfully to stomp on his foot. “Robert!” 

“Say I'm the best,” he demanded as he painfully rubbed his knuckles against Aaron's head. 

“Stop,” he tried to elbow him but robert was quicker and stopped him. 

“Say it!” 

“Fine! You're the best, you tosser!’ Robert let him go and Aaron flattened his hair and aimed a kick at Robert's shin but missed. “Jerk!” 

“You love me,” he smirked. 

to

“You wanna come over to ours?” Andy asked. “Sarah's made homemade ice cream.” 

“Yeah you should,” Robert chimed in with a hopeful smile. He's missed Aaron so much. He had Andy now, but it's not the same as having Aaron around, especially when Andy gets along better with his dad more than he does. 

“Um sure. I have to ask my mum first though,” Aaron said. Feeling better than he has in days. 

“We can all go. You know Chas can never say no to me,” Aaron scoffed but couldn't stop the huge smile spreading across his face. “Catch me if you can?” Aaron caught them both off guard and ran away, but since he was smaller with shorter legs they still caught him even with a head start. 

The boys tumbled into the house, one by one, laughing wildly; startlingly everyone in the house.

“What's all this?” Zak asked, looking directly at Aaron and winked conspicuously. 

“Can I go over to Andy and Robert's?” He asked his mum, giving her a cheeky to smile to help win her over. 

“A-Are you sure?” She asked. “Aaron-” 

“Please mum,” he cut her off before she could say something embarrassing. 

“Actually can he spend the night?” Robert asked and after the past month Aaron had gone through, Chas could have smacked the boy upside his head for even being in her house. 

“Mum,” Aaron whined. Hating the venomous glare she was giving Robert. “They're my friends,” he hissed, including Andy. 

“Alright, love,” she conceded. “Go pack some things to take with you.” 

“I'll help,” Robert said and began to follow Aaron up to his bedroom. 

“”You stay down here with us,” Zak said and grabbed Andy by the back of his shirt. “Have a seat and chat with us, son.” 

Robert and Aaron climbed the stairs to his bedroom, and Aaron couldn't help but feel nervous. The last thing he had said to Robert is that he hated him. He doesn't, never did, just wanted to hurt Robert the way he was. 

“Man your mum hates me,” Robert chuckled. “Must have really slagged me off to her.” Aaron blushes as he started gathering his things to take over to the Sugden's. “Woah when did you get this?” Robert said and grabbed the Nintendo 64 his mum had bought to try and cheer him up. 

“A week ago,” Aaron said excitedly. “it's awesome and my mum bought me Super Mario Brothers and Donkey Kong! We can take it with us up to yours if you want.” 

“Really? Aces!” Robert started packing it up along with the games and Aaron couldn't stop smiling. 

“I'm real sorry,” Aaron finally said, a slight blush making his face go red. “I don't hate you. I was just upset that you were spending all your time with Andy.” 

“I know,” he nodded. “I shouldn't have dropped you like that. You're my best friend Aaron, this scar on my hand proves that.” He hold up his his right hand to show Aaron the scar, and Aaron touches his own on his left hand. “Best friends forever. I promise.” Aaron smiled and threw his arms around Robert who hugged him back tightly. 

“So,” Aaron coughed slightly as he pulled away, feeling embarrassed from the display of emotion. “A new brother, huh?” 

“Yeah it's weird but Andy's alright, you'll like him. Come on, we better not leave him too long with your lot or he'll be scarred for life.” 

“Shut up,” Aaron laughed and followed him out of the room. 

****

The boys were very tired the next morning as Sarah had woken them all up at the crack of dawn. They'd stayed up most the night before, playing video games and having fun. Aaron groaned as he rolled out of Robert's bed, dragging his tired little body down the stairs. “Good morning,” Sarah chuckled from the sight of his tired little face. “Did you boys even sleep last night?” 

“Not really,” Aaron grumbled. “It doesn't help that your son kicks in his sleep like he's trying to do the tango.” Sarah laughed loudly at that as she started to load up Aaron's breakfast plate with food. 

“At least I don't snore, unlike someone,” Robert said as he came down the stairs. “Andy sounds like a chainsaw. How any of us slept through that,” he yawned and sat down next to Aaron. Sarah smiled fondly at her blonde headed son, brushing her fingers through his bedhead as she walked past him to get him some food as well. “Where is Andy?” Robert asked. 

“Already out in the fields with your father,” she said and placed the plate in front of him. “You two hurry up and eat so you can go help.” 

Robert groaned but dug into the food, same as Aaron. When they were finished, Sarah cleaned up for them and they headed outside. “Hey,” Robert said and jabbed Aaron in the shoulder with his elbow. “Let's sneak off to yours. Andy and dad can handle the work. Besides dad complains about how slow I am and how I get in the way, he won't miss us.” 

Aaron's about to tell he doesn't think that's such a good idea when he's spared from having to hurt his best friend's feeling - especially after they just started getting on again - when Jack steps out if the barn just as they're passing it. 

“There you two are,” Jack said with a frown. “Come on, we have a lot of work to do today.” Robert groaned softly and followed after Aaron and Jack into the barn. 

****

Aaron is now ten and Robert and Andy are eleven. The three of them are best friends now, but Robert doesn't offer to make a blood pact with Andy the same as he did with Aaron. Still they spent all their time together with each other out of school. It's summertime now and Aaron helps on the farm with the brothers during the day, and in the evenings they hang around the farm goofing off or sometimes they go to the Dingle’s. 

But Aaron can tell things are becoming strained between Andy and Robert. They fight a lot, and Aaron thinks most of their fights are stupid. Robert gets jealous of Andy, always talking behind his back about how much Jack dotes on him and ignores Robert. 

“Oh Andy loves helping on the farm,” Robert says in a very unattractive voice. “Andy is the perfect little helper. Robert just gets in the way. Andy is a golden boy who can do no wrong. God, Aaron it's so annoying!” 

Aaron never says anything, not wanting to upset Robert. He quite likes Andy and as far as he's concerned he doesn't intentionally mean to upset Robert, it's just how Robert is. He let's the little things get to him, and it doesn't help that Jack does tend to spend more time with Andy then Robert. “You know I overhead them talking the other day and he told Andy that he wants him to take over the farm.” 

“Well that's good isn't it?” Aaron said, flinching at the glare Robert gives him. “You hate the farm. You never wanted it, and now that Andy's around you won't have to worry about not being able to go out on your own.” 

“That's not the point, Aaron!” Robert snapped and threw a rock at a large maple tree. “I'm his son, his real son, but with Andy around it's like I don't exist anymore. God, I'd go insane if it wasn't for mum and Victoria!”

Robert started excluding Andy from his and Aaron's activities and this made Aaron feel very guilty. Each time he'd see Andy next his gut would clench with the guilt so bad he couldn't even look him in the eye. Robert and Aaron had a massive blowout one time he went behind Robert's back and invited Andy without letting him know. 

“Why did you have to invite him?” Robert shouted when they were alone. Robert had made Andy so angry that he'd stormed out of the Dingle house with Aaron trying to call him back. 

“Because he's my friend too,” Aaron snapped. “It's unfair to treat him badly because you're jealous!”

“I’M NOT JEALOUS!” Robert screamed. “HE'S THE ONE WHO'S TAKEN EVERYTHING FROM ME!” 

“Stop being so petty! Andy is your brother-” 

“Adopted brother,” Robert said through clenched teeth. 

“He's still your brother and my friend, used to be yours as well.” 

“Well if he's such a good friend then maybe he should be your only one,” he rammed into Aaron's shoulder as he ran out of the Dingle house. 

“Robert come back!” Aaron shouted after him, but Robert kept going, ignoring his so called best friend. He felt like crying, but Robert Sugden didn't cry. He ended up punching a tree until his bled and throbbed. Then he cried. 

**** 

Aaron and Robert haven't spoken to each other in two weeks, and Aaron was sure it didn't help that he was spending time with Andy. “Talk to him,” Andy said one day. 

“He doesn't want me to,” Aaron frowned as they sat in the barn up at the Sugden farm. Robert was off somewhere in the village, and he knew that if Robert came back and found them hanging out in the same spot as Robert and him used to do then there would be a massive row. “He hates me.” 

“He doesn't hate you,” Andy said sympathetically and patted Aaron on the shoulder. “He hates me all because dad likes it when I help on the farm. I like it too. It's fun and I don't know why Robert gets so bent out of shape over it.” 

“He's just jealous,” Aaron said, hoping that would make Andy feel better. 

“Well I don't want him to be. He's my mate, my brother. It's unfair.” 

“Yeah it is,” Aaron shrugged. “Maybe he just needs some time to cool down and sort himself out.” 

“Yeah maybe,” Andy grumbled. 

**** 

Aaron finally talks to Robert. Mainly because he misses him and because he's sick of Robert acting like a prat all the time towards him. Worst part about all of this is Robert had started hanging out with Pete and Ross Barton. 

“Can I talk to you?” Aaron asked one day as they two Barton boys and Robert stood outside the cafe, waiting on unsuspecting victims to bully. 

“Why? Don't you have Andy to hang out with or did he get sick of you too?” 

“Robert,” Aaron said sadly. “You're my mate. Can't you get over this and come hang out with me and Andy.” 

“No,” Robert growled and turned back to his new “friends”. 

“Please,” Aaron said. 

“Aw your boyfriend's begging,” Pete laughed obnoxiously. Robert punched him hard in the arm. “Ow!” 

“Piss off Aaron,” Robert snapped and started to walk away with the other boys following after him. 

“You alright?” Aaron jumped, startled by Andy's voice in his ear from right behind him. “Sorry did mean to scare you.” He was glaring after Robert's retreating figure. “If he doesn't want treat you nice then forget him. Come on, we can go to mine. Robert never brings them 'round ours. Dad hates the Barton's.” 

Aaron nodded, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to spill over. 

****

Later that night when Aaron's asleep, he's woken suddenly by a tapping against his window. He freezes for a moment before sighing and getting out of bed and walking over to the window and pulled back the curtain just as something small smacked against his window. He looked down below to see Robert standing on the ground, waving awkwardly up at him. He motions for Aaron to come down. Aaron closed the curtains and sneaks out of his bedroom and down the stairs. He cursed softly as he stubs his toe against a chair in the dark. 

After wiping away the tears of pain, he opens the front door and goes outside. “What do you want?’ Aaron asked with crossed arms. Roberts standing back in the shadows so Aaron can't see his face, and when he moved into the light of the moon, Aaron gasped. He was sporting an ugly looking black eye but he was smiling cheekily at Aaron. “What happened?” 

“Andy,” he shrugged. “We got into a fight because of well . . . You.” 

“Me?” Aaron asked in surprise. “Why?”

“He came to me and started kicking off about how badly I've been treating you, and then I yelled at him for stealing not only my family but my best mate, and then a bunch of other stuff that all led to this,” and he pointed to his black eye. “We're both grounded for fighting, but when did that ever stop me?” He smirked.

“You're so stupid, Robert!” Aaron growled. “Andy didn't steal me away from you, you walked away. I want to be your friend, best friend, but I can't do that if you're being a pillock!” 

“I know,” he mumbled softly. “I'm sorry. Maybe I am jealous of Andy, but he gets everything. It's unfair.” 

“Unfair or not he's your brother. Deal with it instead of kicking off with me!” 

“Does that mean we're friends?” Robert asked hopefully. 

“'Course we're friends you muppet! But Andy is my friend too and I'm not gonna treat him badly because you don't like him anymore.” 

“Fair enough,” he nodded. They stared for minute before smiling at each other. “I better get back before they notice I'm gone or you might never see me again.” 

“Okay will l see you tomorrow?” 

“Yeah if I don't get caught sneaking back in. Come 'round mine in the morning.” 

“Okay,” Aaron nodded. “Bye.” 

“Bye,” he waved back as he walked away. Aaron touched the scar on his hand, smiling because his wish is still in effect. 

****

Aaron is now eleven and Robert is twelve. It's summer again and they spend everyday together, even some days with Andy even though Andy has made his own friends by now. Robert always has an attitude when Andy is around but begrudgingly lets him tag along when his mates aren't around. They're walking through the village, laughing and having a good time, when someone shouts Andy's name. The three of them look across the street to see pretty blonde girl waving over at Andy. He waved back enthusiastically. 

“See ya later,” he told then and ran across the street to her. 

“Of course Katie is infatuated with Andy. God, he gets everything!” Robert growled bitterly. 

“So?” Aaron shrugged. “What's so special about her?” Aaron asked. Sure she's pretty and nice, but Aaron couldn't figure it out why Robert would be jealous over that. 

“Aaron do you not have eyes? Katie is the prettiest girl in the village and of course she'd have to fancy Andy. He's not even interesting.” 

Aaron shrugged still not understanding it. “Maybe you're too young,” Robert smirked.

“I'm a year younger than you,” Aaron snapped. “Shut up!”

“Come on,” Robert said suddenly. “I'll race you to the cricket pavilion!” He pushes Robert and took off with Robert shouting after him that he's a cheater, but he soon surpasses Aaron and makes it to the pavilion before him.  
****

All Robert can talk about is Katie and how she's dating Andy. God, it's doing Aaron's head in. He's taken to spending time away from Robert so he doesn't have to hear about it. One night when he's walking up to the Sugden's farm, as he's passing the barn he hears a noise from inside. 

“Robert what if Andy catches us,” it's Katie's voice. He poked his head into the barn just in time to see Robert shush her and lean in for a kiss. 

Aaron can't explain it but watching Robert do that made angry fire burn through his veins. At that moment he wanted to hit him, more than he'd ever wanted to hit anyone. He watched as Robert wrapped his arm around Katie's waist, pulling her close, a hand tangling into her blonde hair.

Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes and his hands began to shake. He hadn't realized he'd gasped and the two broke apart, looking around wildly and Robert catches Aaron's eye. He gasped again and backed away from the barn, turned and started to run away. 

“Aaron?” Robert shouted after him. Aaron didn't stop, just kept running, not understanding the reason his chest was beginning to feel hollow.

****

The next day Robert went to see Aaron. He didn't know what to say, but he had to try and explain what Aaron had seen. He could still feel the tingle in his lips where Katie had kissed him. 

Aaron answered the door, almost closing it at the sight of Robert. “What do you want?” He asked angrily.

“To explain what you saw.” 

“Oh I know what I saw,” he growled. “You snogging your brothers girlfriend! What's wrong with you.” 

“Katie likes me,” he smiled but it disappeared at the disgusted look Aaron was giving him. “It's not that big of a deal. We were just kissing.”

“You are a dirty cheat Robert! Go away!” And he slammed the door in Robert's face. 

“Aaron?” Robert shouted, but there was no answer. “Come on Aaron, open up! Please!”

The door flew open again. “You're gonna forget all about me aren't you?” Aaron screamed, not being able to keep the tears away. 

“What?” Robert asked, confused. “Forget you, you're my best mate.” 

“But you'll choose her over me!”

“Never!” Robert promised. “Aaron no one can make me forget you,” and he holds up his scarred hand. “Best friends forever.” 

Aaron looked at his scarred hand but doesn't know what it means anymore. Still, he nodded and invited Robert in to play some video games.


	2. Teenage Life Is Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Robert through their early teenage years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a few things. 
> 
> One: in this version Robert is not the one who sees the barn on fire because he is with Aaron at the time, but it's Jack that discovers it on fire. 
> 
> Two: Andy tells Robert the truth about the fire, instead of Robert discovering it on his own, and promises to make him pay.
> 
> Three: I took Gordon out because let's face it that monster is a piece shit and I try to keep him out of my stories. They don't call it AU for nothing.
> 
> Four: I've made this into four parts instead of three because chapter two was already soo long. So next chapter will continue their teenage years.
> 
> Any questions please feel free to ask.

Aaron is now twelve and Robert is thirteen. It's the summer of ‘99 and the boys are spending their days roaming the village. Aaron loved the village in the summertime, no school, just him and Robert and sometimes Andy. Today they're walking around the grounds up at Sugden Farm and little Victoria - a year younger than Aaron - is tagging along. 

“We should go camping,” Robert suddenly said as they take a seat underneath a large willow tree at the edge of the forest. “It'll be fun,” he said when he caught sight off Aaron's displeased face. “I think we have some tents in the attic and sleeping bags.” 

“Camping, really? Aaron groaned. “It's so hot at night, at least at mine we have fans to cool us down.” 

“Come on mate,” Robert said and clapped him on the shoulder. “It'll be fun. Don't you want to have fun this summer?” 

“I thought we were having fun,” Aaron grumbled. Last night they'd stayed at Aaron's, staying up for most of the night and sleeping until noon the next day.

“I wanna go camping!” Victoria chimed in her soprano voice. 

“No,” Robert said. “Just me and Aaron. You can go another time,” he added to try and wipe away the hurt look on his sister's face. “I'll take you camping next week. So what d'you say?” 

“Alright, but I'm not gonna like it!”

“Cheers,” Robert laughed. 

****

That night they camped out by the edge of the woods, having oil lamps to give them light. Robert and Aaron told scary stories, ate lots of junk food, and talked about everything. It was all going really well until Robert started talking about Katie. 

“I really like her,” he said. “She's smart and funny and pretty. Why she hangs out with Andy is a mystery to me. Don't you think she's pretty Aaron?” 

“Uh sure,” Aaron grumbled. “Does Andy know you kissed her?” 

“No,” Robert frowned. “And he can't find out either so keep your mouth shut!”

“Fine. Did it only happen that one time?” Aaron asked, afraid of the answer.

“Once more after, that's it, I swear!” Aaron's not sure if he believes Robert. “Oh Aaron she makes me feel butterflies.”

“You're such a girl, mate,” Aaron joked and Robert threw a piece of chocolate at him. 

“Shut up! I think I can get her to date me instead of Andy. Wouldn't that be great?” 

No. “Sure,” Aaron nodded. It already felt like he was losing his best friend. The scar on his hand tingled at the thought. “I'm tired,” Aaron said suddenly. “Let's sleep.” 

They turned the lamps off and climbed into the tent and crawled into their sleeping bags. “Aaron,” Robert said in the dark. “Have you ever kissed a girl?” 

“No,” he said honestly. 

“But you would tell me if you had right?” 

“Yes,” Aaron sighed. “Can I sleep now?” 

“Sure,” Robert said and closed his eyes, but Aaron kept his open. They began to adjust to the darkness and he could slightly make out Robert's face when he looked over at him. He turned on his side, resting his arms underneath his head and stared at Robert. 

Aaron had been honest. He'd never kissed a girl, never really thought about kissing one either. Maybe he wasn't there yet and in time he'd start to feel things for girls the way Robert does, but right now he's content with it just being him and spending time with his best friend Robert. 

****

The next day Robert and Aaron are walking to the village alone when once again they're stopped by the Barton brothers. “What do you two want?” Aaron asked tiredly. This whole vendetta against him and Robert was starting to get real old. 

“Heard your dad had to sell half his land off because he can't even afford to feed his family anymore,” Pete said to Robert. “Your dad's pathetic.” Robert's whole body went rigid at Pete's words. It was true, Jack did have to sell part of their land off because they didn't have enough money, but to Robert that doesn't make him pathetic. To Robert it made Jack a hero that he could now feed his family. 

Robert was about to say something when out of nowhere Aaron attacked Pete. He jumped on top of him, taking him to the ground, and started punching every bit of Pete he could. Robert and Ross stood shocked for a moment, surprised by Aaron's boldness. Ross however was the first to come out of the spell and he lunged to pull Aaron off his brother, but Robert was quicker and grabbed to hold Ross back. 

“Kick his arse!” Robert shouted as Ross struggled in his arms. Aaron kept hitting until he felt blood on his hands and then stopped. He climbed off a groaning Pete, and turned to face, red faced, to look at Robert holding the struggling Ross. He walked over and punched Ross in the face. Robert let go and shoved Ross to the ground. 

“Don't ever mess with us again!” Aaron shouted. “Or it'll be worse next time.” He threatened. 

“I can't believe you just did that!” Robert said as they began to walk away. “Holy crap that was amazing!” 

Aaron couldn't help but grin up at Robert. “I just couldn't stand them talking bad about your family like that. I know how hard it was for your lot last year and Ross and Pete got what they deserved.” 

“Aaron Dingle you are truly the best friend a lad could hope for,” he slung his arm around his shoulder as they walked on towards the village. 

****

Later that night after Robert had gone home a knock came at the door at Wishing Well Cottage. They were all seated around the dinner table, and Zak was mumbling something about how rude it was for people to come 'round at tea time. 

“It's probably Cain,” Lisa said to try and simmer him down. She got up and went to answer the door but it wasn't Cain but James Barton, father of Pete and Ross and behind him stood his two boys. They looked into the house with disgusted looks on their faces, catching sight of Aaron at the table and glared. 

“Can we help you?” Lisa asked. 

“Yes you can,” he said and stepped to the side to let his son's past. In the light of the house you could see just how bad they both looked. Ross: nose is bruised and swollen, and Pete - well Pete look like he'd gone twelve rounds in a boxing match. “These are my son's,” James said, “and they're in this state because if your Aaron.” 

“Aaron?” Chas said and looked over at him in disbelief. “You must be wrong, my son wouldn't do something like this.”  
“He did!” Pete shouted. “He's an animal!” 

“Did you do that?” Zak asked and he couldn't keep the note of pride out of his voice. “Well done,” he whispered so only Aaron would here, and Aaron beamed up at Zak. 

“You must be mistaken,” Chas said with a smile. “My son wouldn't do something like this.” 

“Really?” James said in disbelief. “Why don't you ask him then?” At that moment all eyes turned to Aaron who kept his focused on his dinner plate. 

“Aaron?” Chas said. “Did you do what they claim you did?” Aaron didn't look up. “Aaron!” Chas snapped making Aaron flinch under her angry gaze. 

“They said mean things about Robert's family!” Aaron said as if that made it all okay. “They got what they deserved,” he added and shot the Barton's a glare.

“Robert Sugden “ Chas said as if the name put a bad taste in her mouth. “I should've know,” she said and turned her eyes towards the heavens. “That's it! You can't see him anymore!” 

“No!” Aaron shouted. “He’s my best friend!”

“I don't care,” Chas snapped. “That boy is nothing but trouble. I'm trying to raise you better than this Aaron!” 

“Where is the lad's father?” James asked. At the question everyone in the room grew silent and looked down. 

Chas took a deep breath and gave a false smile. “He left when I was pregnant with Aaron, wanted nothing to do with me or him. As far as I'm concerned it's not a loss.” Aaron didn't look at his mum, but truthfully he wished he knew his father. She never speaks about him with Aaron, always saying that he's better off. 

“I understand what it's like to raise children on your own,” James said sympathetically. “I'm raising this lot on my own. Mum left right after she gave birth to my youngest Finn. 'Course he's a lot easier to handle then these two,” he laughed and smiled at Chas. 

“Wow three of them, I don't envy you,” she giggled. “Aaron say you're sorry!” 

“No!” Aaron shouted and slammed his fist down on the table. She turned to glare at him, but he was standing his ground. “They owe me and Robert one! Always picking on us, beating us up, and today he called Robert's dad pathetic because he sold part of the farm! I will never say sorry!” 

“Is this true?” James asked his sons. 

“He has come home in right states and every time he tells us that your boys put him that way,” Lisa said. Aaron had the urge to get up and hug her.

“Pete?” James said but Pete wouldn't look at his father. “Ross?” He turns to his other son who copies his brother. “Why didn't you ever tell me?” He asked the room. 

“Because we're Dingle's,” Zak said with pride in his voice. “we hold our own and don't go tattling like a bunch of tossers. I'm proud of you Aaron!”

“Shut up, Zak,” Lisa and Chas said at the same time. 

“Well I think apologies are needed from both parties,” James said. 

“What?” Pete asked in outrage. “Look at me dad, he did this,” he pointed at Aaron.

“And it seems you've been a little bully yourself! You will apologize to Aaron and then tomorrow I'm taking you up to the Sugden's and not only will you apologize to Robert, but you will also apologize to Jack!” 

Now Aaron could have hugged him. He really wants to be there for when that happens, but if his mum sticks by her word he might not be seeing Robert for some time. “But you hate the Sugden's!” Ross cried. 

“That doesn't matter! One day you two will be men and have to make hard choices like Jack did. A man should never be looked down upon when he chooses his family over his own pride. Now say you're sorry to Aaron.” 

“Sorry,” they both mumbled. 

“Aaron,” Chas said. “Your turn!” 

“No!” Aaron snapped again. 

“Aaron, say it!” She growled. 

“Fine. Sorry,” he glared at them and they glared back. 

“Now that that's settled, we should be on our way. Sorry for disturbing your tea.” James smiled once more at Chas.  
“It's quite alright,” she said softly. “Sorry again about this whole mess.” 

“It's alright. Goodnight,” she waved as the Barton's walked out. “He's lovely” Chas said once the door was shut. Aaron could've gagged.

“Seemed like a tosser to me,” Zak said, making Aaron grin over at him. 

“Next time someone says something you don't like,” Chas said to Aaron as she took her spot back at the table. “Don't be a little prat and attack them!”

“They deserved it,” Aaron said. “Can I still see Robert?” He asked.

She was quiet a moment before sighing. “Fine but one more wiff of trouble from the two of you then it's over, you can't see him anymore.” 

Aaron sighed, feeling better knowing he could still hang out with Robert. They'd just have to be more careful with their activities. 

****

Aaron is thirteen and Robert is fourteen. They had just began school not a week ago, but for the past three weeks Robert and Andy hadn't shown up. Aaron was starting to become worried that Jack wouldn't ever let them go back. Sarah was no longer living with them, and Jack was taking it out on Robert and Andy. 

Aaron snuck up there one day after school to help Robert with his chores, and they’re currently taking a break in the barn. “It’s so unfair, Aaron!” Robert whined as they sat up at the top of the loft of the barn. “Just because mum’s went and ditched him, me and Andy have to pay the price!” 

“Wish I could get out of going to school,” Aaron mumbled. 

“No, Aaron. All we do is work, eat, and sleep now. It’s horrible. I miss school and my mates, and you. I miss you. This sucks!” Aaron put his arm around Robert’s shoulder, the feeling of butterflies erupting in his stomach as he did so. He doesn’t understand where they’re coming from or what they mean, but it’s been happening for a while now. “It doesn’t help that were still skint.”

“I’m sure you’ll get to come back soon. At least you don’t have to sit in a stuffy room all day, you get to be outside in the fresh air.” 

“Aaron you have no idea how much I’m beginning to hate the fresh air,” he growled. 

****

Robert and Andy returned to school a week later when Sarah returned to the farm and her family. “It’s right weird around there now,” Robert said. “Everything's strained and they barely talk to each other. Maybe it would have been better if she stayed away,” he said sadly. “She can take me with her.” 

“At least you’re back in school now,” Aaron said as they walked home. The trips are peaceful now since Pete and Ross had started leaving them alone. Aaron wasn’t sure if it was because of the night at his house or because his mum is now dating James Barton. Either way, Aaron was glad of it. 

“Yeah but for how long?” Robert asked as if Aaron had the answer. “She might leave again at anytime. You know she got custody of Victoria right?” Aaron nodded at him. “If mum leaves she’ll take Vic with her and then I’ll be left with just Andy and dad. Maybe it’s time we start thinking about running away.” 

“You’re not serious,” Aaron laughed, but the look on Robert’s face told him plainly that he is. “Rob, we can’t just leave. I’m sure things will settle down soon enough.” 

“Keep a bag packed just in case things go South,” Robert warned. 

****

It was the 16th of November when tragedy struck the Sugden family. Aaron will never be able to forget the horror in Robert’s eyes when he learned of his mum’s death. He’d been at the Dingle’s when Jack and Andy had come ‘round looking for him. Jack, eyes bloodshot and horrified; Andy’s mirroring Jack’s. 

“What’s happened?” Robert asked, surprised by the unannounced visit of his brother and father. A collective hush fell across the room as Jack laid his hands on his son's shoulder. “There was a fire up at the farm in the barn, son . . . Sarah’s dead,” he said, voice empty; hollow. 

Robert stepped back from Jack’s touch, shaking his head as if he didn’t believe. He looked towards his brother, hoping he would turn on Jack and call him a liar to make the words not real. “No,” he said. “No, no, no! YOU’RE LYING!” He screamed as Jack just stared at him. “Mum’s not dead! She can’t be!” 

Aaron was already crying, it getting worse as Robert kept shaking his head, his own tears starting to cascade down his face. Robert looked over at Aaron, hoping his best friend could make this right but all Aaron could do was cry. “No,” Robert whispered. He shoved past Jack and Andy, running out of the house. Jack let him go. Aaron ran after him. 

Robert had fallen on his knees at the edge of the property, his sobs ringing through the night. Aaron didn’t know what to say, knowing deep down there was nothing he could say to make this better. So he got down on his knees by his best friend and sat with him as he cried and screamed. 

Aaron wasn’t sure how long they’d been there, but at some point someone joined them and wrapped a blanket around Aaron and one around Robert. He looked up to see his mum standing over them, tears on her face as well. She walked around to stand in front of Robert and sat down in front of him. Robert looked up at her through blurry eyes and they stared at each other for a moment. This is something Aaron would also never forget, and no matter how upset his mum makes him, he will never ever stop loving her unconditionally for this. 

“I’m so sorry, love,” she said and then pulled Robert into her arms. His tears started again, sobs shaking his and Chas’ body. Aaron cried again as well as his mum held his best friend, trying to give him some kind of comfort. Chas looked up at him, and opened her arms; telling him silently to join their embrace. Aaron surged forward, wrapping his arms around his mum and Robert. They sat there for a long time, holding onto one another, and crying. 

****

Aaron didn’t really understand funerals. Sarah’s was the first he’d ever attended, but on that day he realized funerals are for the living and not the dead. He stood next to Robert’s left side with Aaron’s mum standing on Aaron’s left. Robert kept his head down, tears silently streaming down his face, and blocked out the words they spoke for Sarah. He peeked up at his father who was standing on his right, eyes dry and empty. He looked back at the ground, wishing to be anywhere but here. 

Aaron got the courage to grab Robert’s hand and held tightly to it. Their scars touch, and that gives Robert some sort of comfort at that moment. He looked up at his best friend, and they stare at each other; eyes saying so much and nothing at all. 

****

Aaron couldn’t find his best friend, even though him and Robert still spent the same amount of time together as they always had. Robert is silent most of the time, his carefree spirit gone, his smiles replaced with blank looks, and he can’t remember the last time Robert laughed. 

“He’s grieving,” Chas tells him. “We all do it in our own way. Robert will make peace with it one day.” 

Aaron doesn’t understand that, and at the same time he does. He doesn’t push Robert or say anything that might upset him. He’s just there, and day by day Aaron starts to feel differently about Robert. He can’t put it into words, but it’s something inside him and at times it makes him feel like he’s flying and other times he feels like he might start having a panic attack.

The feeling is strongest when they sit in silence and Aaron can just stare at his best friend. 

****

The next day when Robert comes ‘round Aaron’s - he spends most days there, not being able to stand the silent household without Sarah there to brighten everything up - and one look at Robert tells Aaron something else has happened. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked as Robert took a seat beside him. 

“They’ve arrested my dad for my mum’s murder,” he said in a hollow voice. “He didn’t do it, Aaron.” Robert said as if Aaron was about to say that he did. “He couldn't have set fire to that barn with her inside, he just couldn't.”

“I know,” Aaron said and Robert looked over at him. “Your dad couldn’t have done that. He loved Sarah.” Aaron had been friends with Robert for six years now and all that time spent around the Sugden’s told him enough to know that Jack and Sarah loved each other. 

“If they find him guilty I don’t know what will happen of me, Vic, and Andy.”  
“You can come live here,” Aaron suggested. 

“That’s not up to you. They’ll probably put us in the foster care system,” Robert shuddered at the thought. “Andy told me what it’s like in the system, Aaron we wouldn't survive it.” 

“You’re going nowhere,” Aaron told him and took hold of his hand. “Everything will sort itself out, it always does.” 

“I don’t know anymore,” Robert said and shrugged. 

****

Aaron is fourteen and Robert is fifteen the year Jack stands trial for Sarah’s murder. Luckily he was acquitted. Robert couldn’t have been more relieved. They stopped the investigation into Sarah’s death, but it weighed on Robert’s mind. 

“That fire didn’t just start itself,” Robert said in Aaron’s bedroom one day. He’s pacing back and forth as Aaron lays spread out on his bed. Aaron watched Robert’s every movement, the way his arms swung by his side in agitation, the way his chest heaved with even breaths, the way his freckled skin looked so soft under the pale light of Aaron’s bedroom. _Stop thinking about him that way!_ Aaron wanted to smack himself but he was sure that would look mighty suspicious. 

“They stopped the investigation,” Aaron reminded him. He watched as Robert licked his lips and Aaron had to look away before he started having a breathing problem. The feelings are so new to him, and he doesn’t understand half of them, but some he can. He knows it’s wrong. Not only is it Robert, his best friend in the whole world, but it’s Robert his best friend who’s a bloke. Now that’s really wrong. 

“So!” Robert snapped and sat down on the bed, pushing Aaron legs back so he had more room. 

Robert’s going through the awkward stages of puberty right now, same as Aaron. Voices changing, hair growing in weird places, growth spurts, smells that Aaron can’t define except as gross, and the constant party happening in the trouser area was driving Aaron mad. Most mornings he found he woke up in a sticky situation and he wanted to talk about it with his best friend, and ask if he had the same problem, but with everything going on in Robert’s life he thought it might be a bit insensitive. 

“Someone started that fire Aaron,” Robert said breaking Aaron out of his thoughts. “I need to find out who!” 

“We will,” Aaron said and that made Robert smile. “You think you can play detective without your best friend?” 

“‘Course not,” Robert said softly. “Maybe Andy can help as well. I’m sure he wants justice for mum also.” 

“I’m sure he does,” Aaron nodded. “Why don’t we go and see him?” 

“Okay,” Robert said and headed for the door. Aaron found himself staring at Robert’s bum as he followed behind him. He shook his head quickly, trying to ignore the thoughts he was having about his best friend. 

Up at the farm they find Andy sitting by the ruins of the burnt barn, crying softly. They walked over to him and sat down next to him. “We’re gonna find who did this,” Robert said first thing and put his arm around his brother's shoulder. “Don’t worry.” 

“It was an accident,” Andy whispered, the tears beginning to flow faster. “She wasn’t supposed to be in there.” 

“What are you talking about?” Robert asked. Aaron had a bad feeling. 

“They were fighting over money, and I was afraid dad would lose the farm. He already had to sell some of it off to keep us afloat. I thought mum was gonna leave because of it,” he looked up at Robert who was staring down at him with a confused expression. “I set fire to the barn so we could collect the insurance money. Mum’s dead because of me.” 

It was silent, the seconds ticked by and with each one Robert’s eyes widened a bit more until they were well rounded in horror. Aaron hadn’t realized his mouth had fallen open in shock. Slowly, oh so slowly, Robert took his arm from around his brother’s shoulders and stood up. “You did this,” he whispered accusingly. “My mum is dead because of you.” 

“She was my mum too,” Andy sobbed. “Please don’t hate me, Robert. I was just trying to help out the family.” 

“BY MURDERING OUR MOTHER?” Robert screamed. “YOU BASTARD!” And he jumped on top of Andy, hitting him in the face over and over.

“Robert stop!” Aaron shouted and tried to pull Robert off. Robert threw back his elbow and hit Aaron in the jaw with it, hard enough for Aaron’s vision to blur. 

“I’LL KILL YOU!” Robert screamed and kept hitting his brother. 

“Robert no! Get off him!” Aaron shouted and tried once again - unsuccessfully - to pull Robert off of Andy.

“What’s happening?” Jack shouted while running towards the three boys. He took in the sight of Robert on top of Andy, sighed, and grabbed Robert around the waist, hoisting him off his brother. “What do you think you’re doing?” Jack asked Robert who was still flailing in his arms, trying to get back to Andy, who groaned and curled up on his side on the ground. 

“HE KILLED MUM!” Robert screamed. “I’LL KILL HIM!” 

“Stop it, Robert,” Jack said calmly as he held him tight in his embrace, making it impossible for him to break free. “STOP STRUGGLING!” He yelled, finally losing his temper. “I know what Andy did.” 

“You what?” That got Robert to stop struggling. 

“I know that Andy set the barn on fire. Robert, it was an accident. He was trying to help the family and it all went wrong. He feels bad enough without you trying to kill him. Let it go, son.” Robert was frozen in Jack’s arms and he thought it was safe enough to let go of him, but he was wrong. 

Instead of going after Andy, Robert turned around and punched Jack in the face “ROBERT!” Aaron shouted in shock. 

“Shut up, Aaron. Go home! This is between my family, you’re not needed here!” Aaron couldn’t believe he’d just said that. Aaron clenched his jaw tightly, fighting back the tears that always seemed to come whenever Robert hurt him. 

“Fine,” he said in a tight voice. “When you need someone to rant to and to make yourself feel better, come find me, because apparently that’s all I’m good for.” Robert didn’t try to stop as him as he stormed away from the family nightmare that was unraveling on Emmerdale Farm. 

****

It had been a week since the night Andy had confessed to burning the barn down, inevitably killing Sarah in the process. Aaron hadn’t seen or spoken to Robert. He’s seen Jack and Andy around the village so at least he knew Robert hadn’t committed the murder of his brother and father. Aaron couldn’t take it anymore and he stopped Andy outside the cafe one day.  
“Where’s Robert?” He asked. 

“He didn’t tell you?” Andy asked. 

“Tell me what?” Aaron demanded. 

“He’s gone. Left a few days ago to go to Spain to stay with our grandmother Annie.” Aaron’s jaw dropped, not believing it. “I’m sorry he didn’t say goodbye,” Andy said and began to walk away. 

“When will he be back?” Aaron asked. 

“I don’t know,” Andy shrugged and walked away from him again. Aaron couldn’t believe Robert would just take off and not tell him. What if he doesn’t come back. The scar on Aaron’s right hand tingles, and his throat tightens. 

“Robert,” he whispered and ran his thumb over the scar. 

****

Robert returns three months later, and in those three months a lot changes. Aaron had befriended Victoria Sugden, spending a lot of time with her. When Robert had always been around he had ignored Vic, instead focusing on the blonde Sugden brother instead, but with him gone he actually finds he enjoys her company. She’s a right laugh like Robert, but less moody and pessimistic. 

He’s on his way up to the farm to see her, but his mum asked him to go the chemist first and get something for an upset stomach. He bumps into Andy on his way there and they walk together. “Have you heard from Robert?” Aaron asked casually. They hadn’t talked much about Robert’s disappearance from the village, but Andy had told him what happened that night after he left the farm. 

Apparently Robert had attacked his father again, but was stopped by Andy. They fought for most of the night, Robert refusing to let it go until he heard the truth of what happened. Andy had set fire to the barn to collect the insurance money when he overheard Jack talking about possibly losing the farm. He’d gone out, doused the place in petrol, and lit it on fire unbeknownst to Andy that Sarah and Richie Carter - the man she'd been having an affair with - was inside. Jack saw the fire, ran to the barn and could hear them inside, ran in and was able to get to Richie and get him out but not Sarah. Richie told the police that Jack had set the barn on fire to kill Sarah and that’s why he was arrested, and then Andy told Richie the truth and begged him to change his statement to the police, which is why Jack was acquitted. When the truth was out on the table, Jack suggested that Robert leave for a while to get his head sorted and to come back when he was ready, hence him leaving so quickly for Spain.  
“‘Course not, he hates me. I kind of hate me too,” Aaron patted his shoulder sympathetically. “It really was an accident.” 

“I know,” Aaron said. “Robert will eventually realize that too.” 

They continue into the village and as they’re walking down the street, Aaron notices a familiar mop of blonde hair and handsome face. “Robert?” He shouted. The person looked up and sure enough it was Robert Sugden! “ROBERT!” Aaron shouted and ran to him. They embraced, holding each other tight, and Aaron had to fight the shiver that threatened to explode out of him. He couldn’t help but notice how tall he’d gotten while away, and how good he smells. 

“I missed you,” Robert said but there was something different about his tone. Aaron pulled back to look at his face, and it’s the same face he’s always known, but not. There’s a hardness in his eyes, and something darker making his lips twist into a smirk that Aaron didn’t care for. Aaron stepped away from him and noticed the way he held himself was also different. Aaron always knew Robert was a bit smug, but now his body sang with it. “Didn’t you miss me?” He asked and cocked his head to the side, completely ignoring Andy all together. 

“O-Of course,” Aaron stuttered. “How was Spain.” 

“Lovely,” he said and finally turned to look at his brother. “Hello Andy.” 

“Hello Robert,” Andy said warily, also noticing the differences in his brother that Aaron had noticed. “When did you get back?”

“Today. Dad picked me up at the bus station. I asked him to drop me off here in the village and he took my things back up to the farm.” Aaron noticed the way he spoke to Andy as if he’s beneath Robert. It made Aaron’s skin crawl. 

“He didn’t say anything about you coming home,” Andy said and rubbed the back of his hand across his nose. 

“Probably thought it was for the best. You know dad, has to make sure his Andy is taken care of.” Aaron wanted to hit Robert. He’s being a total prat. 

“Robert,” Andy started when someone came up behind him and put their hands over his eyes. 

“Guess who?” It was Katie. 

“Uh I’m not sure,” Andy joked making Katie smack him in the head. “Hi,” he said and leaned in to kiss her. Aaron looked at Robert, and saw something else that was new. A raging darkness in his eyes that passed just as quickly as it came. 

“Robert,” Katie says in surprise. “You’re home.” Aaron really hated the way she looked at him. 

“Yes I am,” he said with a smirk. He let his eyes travel the length of her body, and she blushed. Andy scoffed and wrapped an arm possessively around her waist. It made Robert smirk even more. 

Andy cleared his throat, pulling Katie’s attention back to him. Aaron saw the darkness flare up in Robert’s eyes again. 

“Do you want to do something tonight?” Andy asked her, 

“Mmm like what?” She smiled. 

“Anything as long as it doesn’t cost money,” Andy said shyly. Robert scoffed loudly and both Andy and Aaron glared at him. 

“Anything’s fine,” Katie said with a shrug. She kissed him again before telling him she’d see him later and disappeared down the street. 

“Not gonna be able to keep her on your arm forever if you can’t even treat her,” Robert said nastily. “She’ll dump you for someone better, which is pretty much anyone.” 

“Robert. . .” Aaron said, feeling embarrassed for his best friend. He looked over at Aaron, and for a moment, almost looks ashamed but it went away so quickly Aaron couldn’t be sure. 

“At least I have a girlfriend,” Andy teased Robert. “Better hurry up and get one or people will start thinking you’re gay!” Robert took a step towards Andy, but Aaron put a hand on his arm to stop him. 

“I know what you did,” Robert hissed. “I will always hate you for it!” 

“It was an accident,” Andy said sadly. “It wasn’t supposed to happen that way.” 

“But it did, and now she’s dead. It should’ve been you!” 

“Robert,” Aaron chastised him again, but this time Robert didn’t give him a look of guilt. He shook his arm off and started away. 

“See you later, Aaron,” he called over his shoulder. 

“He’s never gonna let it go,” Andy said sadly. “Maybe he’s right, it should have been me.” Before Aaron can try and console him, he walks away with his head held low. 

****

Robert came to see Aaron later that day - Aaron had forgoed his plans with Victoria so she could catch up with her brother - and when Aaron opened the door it was like looking at whole other person than the one from earlier today. Robert was standing there, grinning widely the way he used too, and pulled Aaron in for a real hug instead of the cheap imitation of one they’d shared earlier in the street. 

“You're getting tall, but still a munchkin,” Robert joked and messed up his hair. 

“At least I'm not giraffe! How's the weather up there?” They grinned wildly at each other and Aaron stepped back so Robert could walk into the house. “Where is everyone?” 

“Out. So what did you do in Spain?” They took a seat on the sofa, both leaning back and relaxing. 

“Cried a lot,” he shrugged. “Sorry I didn't say goodbye. Dad suggested I leave to grieve and get myself together. I wanted to go as soon as possible, not being able to stand their traitorous faces.” The darkness was back in Robert's eyes. 

“Robert,” Aaron said softly. “It really was an accident.” 

“Do not stick up for them Aaron! Andy killed my mum, and dad let him get away with it because Andy's his precious, perfect, son. My mum is dead.” 

“I know,” Aaron reached over to take his hand but Robert pulled away from him, Aaron tried not to look hurt. “But she was also Andy's, and Victoria's. Your dad lost his wife. You're all grieving over it. Promise me you won't do anything stupid.” 

“Like what?” Robert asked, glaring over at Aaron. “Like making my brother pay for murdering my mum?” 

“It was an accident,” Aaron said again. “Andy is in as much pain as you. You have to let it go.” 

“You're just like my father!” Robert shouted at him, jumping off the couch and heading for the door. “Andy can do no wrong in everyone's eyes, huh? Well I won't let him get away with it!” 

“Robert please don't go!” Aaron begged. Robert stopped with his hand on the door handle, he turned to look at Aaron and the pain in his face was almost enough to break Aaron's heart. “I won't say anything else about. Just stay.” 

“Fine,” he said and walked back over to the sofa. “So what did you do while I was away?” 

“Nothing really,” he shrugged. “Spent time with your sister, she needed a mate after everything that happened.” 

“I hated leaving her,” he said sadly and then a slow smile crept across his face. “Do you fancy my sister?” He asked and shoved Aaron playfully.

“What? No!” Aaron said truthfully, but the blush that spread across his face made Robert think differently. 

“Yes you do!” He laughed. “Well I guess better you than some random bloke. Just don't break or heart or I'll have to break your face.” He teased. 

“I don't fancy your sister!” Aaron practically shouted. “Drop it Robert!” 

“Alright. God. I was only winding you up, don't be so sensitive. If you don't fancy my sister, then who do you fancy?”

“No one,” Aaron mumbled, feeling embarrassed again. He wasn't sure about his feelings, everything inside him being so muddled right now. When he looks at a girl or thinks about one he doesn't feel anything. He can say they're good looking, that he might be interested, that he could kiss one, but they're just words. He doesn't mean any of it because none of it feels right. Then there's the other part of him, and this part terrifies Aaron, a part where he could look at a bloke and think those same things about them the way he should be thinking about girls.

It was also scary that most of those thoughts revolved around his best friend, Robert. 

“You have to fancy someone,” Robert said. 

“Well who do you fancy?” Aaron asked to pull the attention away from him. 

“Hmm, don't know yet,” he shrugged but Aaron could tell that he wasn't being honest. Katie, Aaron thinks darkly, of course he'd fancy her. Wouldn't look twice at me. 

****

Aaron is fifteen and today is Robert Sugden's sixteenth birthday. Robert had convinced Aaron - very easily - to skive off school and go into town. Katie and Andy had joined them also, and while Aaron knew Robert didn't want Andy there he begrudgingly let him come so Robert could be around Katie. It didn’t go unnoticed the way Aaron's being so short with Katie, but every time Robert’s eyes followed her or he’d smile and joke with her, it fed Aaron’s jealousy to the point he was about to start kicking off. 

“Aaron stop frowning,” Robert said and threw his arm around Aaron's shoulders. They’d been walking behind Katie and Andy, and Aaron kept noticing the way his eyes kept focusing on Katie’s backside, hence the scowl. “It’s my birthday and you can’t be grumpy on my birthday.” 

“Not grumpy,” he said in a tone that was so very obviously grumpy. “What are we doing anyway? We’ve been walking around for over an hour. Honestly I’d be having more fun in school.” 

“I know what we can do,” Andy said. Robert ignored him and pulled Aaron closer to him. “You’d rather be in some stuffy classroom, instead of celebrating with your best mate. You didn’t even get me a present.” 

“I told you I got you one, I left it at home,” he snapped and elbowed Robert, who let him go and pushed him lightly. “Besides some birthday this is,” Aaron mumbled. “Walking around town like we don’t do that every other day.” 

“I know what we can do,” Andy said again as they stopped outside of a shop. Andy pointed in through the window at the shelves behind the counter. “You want a good birthday, Robert, well there it is.” Aaron looked to what Andy was pointing at. Bottles of booze lined the wall behind the counter, a man stood at the register - a big man at that. 

“We can’t buy that,” Robert said and looked at his brother like he was stupid. “Even if we were of age, we don’t have that kind of money.” 

“So we knick it,” Andy said with a smug smile. Robert stared at him for a moment before a large smile crept across his face. “Katie can go in and distract him, then you, me, and Aaron go in and knick the booze. We can put it in Aaron’s bag.” 

“No way,” Aaron said. “I’m not getting caught knicking booze for this pillock,” Aaron said and nodded at Robert. “What if we get caught?” 

“Aaron,” Robert whined. “It’s my birthday, and for once Andy has a bright idea. Come on, for me,” he bites his bottom lip and gives Aaron wide puppy-dog eyes. Robert biting his bottom lip sent butterflies through his stomach and a image of him biting that bottom lip flashes in his mind. He blushed and looked away from the group, embarrased. 

“Fine,” he grumbled. “Let’s get this over with!” 

“Great!” Robert cheered. “Alright Katie,” Robert said and moved to put his arm around her - it didn't go unnoticed by Aaron the look of hated that flashed across Andy's face. “You go in first, try and get him away from the counter. If not, then have his back turned so we can sneak behind him. Keep his eyes on you.” 

She smirked and tossed her hair back, and walked into the shop. Aaron, Robert, and Andy watched as she walked over to the counter, smiling at the man. They didn't have a clue what she was saying, but whatever it was the guy had his eyes fixed on her. She waved her hand around the shop, and the man said something, and she giggled as if he said the funniest thing.  
Aaron didnt have a fucking clue what was happening. Aaron assumed he missed something because next thing they knew, Katie and the man were walking into the back of the shop. 

“Let's go,” Robert said and they went inside. They rushed over to the counter, Aaron removeing his school bag as he went from his back and unzipped it. Robert and Andy went around behind the back counter and grabbed three bottles of spirits, and handed them over to Aaron to put in his bag. 

“Do you think Katie's alright?” Andy asked they made their way around the counter. “You two take the bag outside and I'll find her.” 

Aaron and Robert walked back outside, and Aaron handed Robert the bag. “It's too heavy now, you carry it.” 

“Baby,” he mocked him but took the bag and slung it over his shoulder. They didn't wait long before Andy and Katie returned. “What did you say to him?” 

“He was a dirty old man. I said I was looking for a summer job and he told me to come into the back for an application. Told me how pretty I was and then tried to touch me, thank God my hero showed up just in time,” she smiled and kissed Andy. Robert rolled his eyes and Aaron decided to broach the next predicament. 

“Uh, so where are we gonna? We can't exactly stand here in the middle of street and get pissed.” 

“We can't go to ours,” Andy said. “If dad catches us he'll skin us alive. What about yours?” He asked Katie. 

“No, sorry.” 

“Well we can't go to mine neither,” said Aaron. “People are coming and going all the time over there.” 

“Cricket pavilion,” Robert said as if he genius for suggesting it. “How about we all meet there around five, and that gives you time to go home, act like you had a nice day at school, and you can get my present.” He grinned and punched Aaron on the arm, who rolled his eyes but had to admit it was a good plan. 

****

His mum was at the cottage when Aaron came home from “school”. She was sitting at the kitchen table and crying. Aaron hated to see her cry, and he set his school bag - void of the alcohol because he'd given it to Robert - down by the door and went to her 

“Mum?” Aaron said softly. She looked up as if shocked to see Aaron standing there watching her cry. She wiped away her tears and put on a false smile. “Are you okay?” 

“What?” She asked with a watery voice. She removed the rest of her tears, but the evidence was still there by the red puffy eyes, dripping nose, and the way her voice was deeper. “'Course I'm fine. How was school?” 

“Good,” Aaron lied. “Why were you crying?”

“Nothing to worry about, love,” Chas said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Are you going out tonight?” 

“I can stay with you if you want,” Aaron said. 

“Don’t be silly, love,” Chas said and walked over to cup Aaron’s cheek. “You go out and have fun. Don’t worry about your old mum.” She swallowed hard and walked away, going upstairs leaving him to fret over her. 

****

“About time you showed up,” Robert said as he stood on the steps of the cricket pavilion. He was dressed in a black button up shirt, a little big for him so Aaron assumed he’d taken it from Jack’s closet, and he wore a nice pair of jeans that didn’t have grass stains or covered in mud from working the farm. Aaron sighed, looked down at his own frumpy clothing, and wished he’d tried a bit harder like Robert had. “Where’s my present.” 

“Is that all you care about?” Aaron asked and pulled a poorly wrapped package and threw it to his best friend. “Hope you like it.” 

Robert ripped into the green paper and dumped his gift out into his hand. It was a pocket knife. The handle made from fake pearl, but it glimmered like the real thing. Robert opened the knife, eyes wide, and ran the side of the blade over his hand. “This is Brilliant! Where’d you get it?” 

“For me to know, and you to never find out,” Aaron teased. 

“You knicked it didn’t ya?” Robert laughed, “Cheers, Aaron!” Robert closed the pocket knife and shoved it into his pocket. Truth was he had knicked it from a shop, he couldn’t even buy scissors yet so there was no way he could have bought that, but Robert didn’t need to know that. 

“Where is everyone else?” Aaron asked, looking around and seeing no sign of Katie or Andy - not that it bothered him. If it was up to Aaron he’d be spending Robert’s birthday just him and Robert. 

“Andy went to Katie’s to walk her over, as if she can’t do it herself,” he scowled over at Aaron, and Aaron fought the urge to roll his eyes. If Robert was going to spend the whole night drooling over Katie then he could go home and sit with his mum who had obviously been very upset. “Oh Ross and Pete are joining us.” 

“I’m sorry what?” Aaron asked incredulously. “I thought you just said Ross and Pete are coming here . . . where we are . . . in the same space . . . breathing the same air as us.” 

“That’s what I said,” Robert laughed. “We ran into them on the way home, they saw the bottles in Andy’s bag that he forgot to zip up, the muppet, and they asked what we were doing with it. We told them it’s for a party, and you won’t believe this, but yours truly had the brilliant idea to charge them twenty quid to come and drink with us.” 

“You really want them hanging around on your birthday. They’re assholes, Robert.” 

“I know that,” Robert said, “but it was twenty quid and you know what the Barton’s are like, they would have run off like a bunch twats and went and told their daddy what were doing. They’re still mad about having to apologize to me and my dad.” 

“That was like three years ago,” Aaron laughed. “Bunch of wankers.” 

“It’s good that it’s just you and me right now,” Robert said and walked across the porch of the pavilion and leant down to pick up a bag. Aaron tried to ignore the fluttering feeling building in his chest from Robert’s words. “We can drink some before they get here.” Aaron took a seat on the steps and Robert walked back over to sit beside him. He pulled out one of the bottles of liquor and opened it. “Have you ever drank this?” Robert asked. 

“No. Zak let me have some of his beer once but that’s it,” Robert nodded and unscrewed the top of the bottle off the vodka. “You?” 

“Nope,” Robert said and lifted the bottle to his nose to sniff it. “Oh that’s bad.” 

Aaron rolled his eyes. “Well don’t sniff it. Just drink it.” 

“Alright pushy,” Robert grumbled and tipped the bottle to his lips. He took a large drink, pulling it away from his lips and started coughing after he swallowed. A noticeable shiver ran this his body, and then a feeling of warmness began to spread through him. “It tastes rank, but the feeling’s nice. Here.” 

Aaron took the bottle from him, and tipped it to his lips as Robert had done. The warm liquid touched his tongue, and Aaron had to stop himself from spitting it out. It was horrible. The alcohol burned going down, and it was like the flavour got worse as the taste stayed in Aaron’s mouth. He shivered as well, and pulled a face that said he was on the verge of gagging. “Why did you make me drink that,” Aaron accused Robert and wiped his tongue on his shirt, doing anything to remove the taste. A warmness started spreading through him like he’d dipped himself into a bathtub full of warm water, and Aaron had to admit the feeling was nice. 

“Made you?” Robert laughed at Aaron. “You took it willingly.” Robert drank from the bottle again, shivering and pulling the same face as Aaron that looked like he might gag. “Eurgh!” 

“Exactly!” Aaron snapped. He looked up at the sound of voices heading there way, it was Andy and Katie. Aaron looked over at Robert, and couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes lit up when they landed on Katie. Aaron sighed internally and took the bottle back from Robert, taking another drink. It was just as bad as the first time. 

Not far behind Andy and Katie were Pete and Ross, but behind them were four more people. Aaron recognized Victoria walking along with two girls who looked alike, but Aaron had no clue who they were, same with the cute boy who was walking with them. Aaron cringed when he thought of the word “cute” to describe him as. 

“Who are they?” Aaron asked and Robert shrugged because he didn't know either. 

“Hey,” Andy said. “Hope you don't mind but we invited a few more people. This is Holly,” Andy pointed to a pretty girl with dark brown hair and blue eyes. She smiled and waved at them. “Her sister Hannah,” another pretty girl with brown hair, “and their brother Adam Barton.” Aaron felt another flutter in his chest when cute Adam smiled. 

“Barton?” Robert said and looked at Pete and Ross. 

“Cousins,” Pete said. “They just bought Butler's Farm. Moved in yesterday.” 

“Why would your parents buy that dump?” Robert asked rudely. Sometimes Aaron wanted to slap his best friend when he acted better than people. It was rich of him too seeing as the Sugden's farm was in just as bad as shape as Butler's is. 

“It's not that bad,” Adam said in a deep voice, that Aaron liked. _What is wrong with me?_ He thought, even though he already knew the answer but even thinking it terrified Aaron. “Our mum and dad think they can turn a nice profit given time.” 

“Good luck,” Robert scoffed. Aaron rolled his eyes and took the bottle from Robert, and held it out to Andy who took it willingly. 

“How's your mum?” Ross asked Aaron.  
“Don't know, your lot sees her more than I do nowadays.” He tried not to sound too bitter. Pete and Ross exchanged a look that Aaron doesn't miss. “What?” He asked. 

“Our dad broke up with your mum. Guess she didn't tell you.” So that's why she was crying. Aaron felt guilty for leaving, knowing he should have stayed with how upset she had obviously been. The guilt tears at his stomach and he looks over at Robert. 

“What?” He said. 

“I think I have to go,” he said softly. 

“You what? No! You can't leave, it's my birthday!” Aaron looked into his pleading eyes, and he wants to celebrate with his best friend, but his mum is his family. All he has. 

“Robert, I'm sorry.” He said. “My mum needs me. What if it was your dad who needed you?” That was the wrong thing to ask. The darkness that always swirled in his eyes when Aaron mentioned his father or Andy appeared, and Aaron swallowed hard to try and pass the fear he felt whenever that dark look reared its ugly head. 

“Fine. Go. Have more fun without you anyway.” Robert growled and started. 

“Robert,” Aaron whispered, his feelings hurt by his best friend. “She's my mum.” 

“And I'm what? Just your best friend,” he held up his hand to show Aaron the scar. “If you want to leave, then leave. I'd rather have a friend I can depend on!” 

“You want to be a baby about this fine,” Aaron yelled. “I’ll go. Have a happy freaking birthday.” Aaron shoved past him, and started walking away. 

“I will!” Robert shouted after him, but he didn't turn around or give an indication that he heard him. 

****

The day after Robert's birthday, Aaron ran into Andy, who was sporting a nasty black eye. “What happened to you?” Aaron asked. 

And then Andy told him what happened after Aaron left. Apparently Robert had been in a foul mood for the rest of the night, and had drank a tonne. Sometime after nightfall Robert had gone over to where Katie and Andy had been talking, shoved Andy away, and grabbed Katie and kiss her in front of everyone. Andy had grabbed Robert to pull him off his girlfriend and punched him in the mouth. They'd fought right there, and it had ended when Andy called Robert a stupid jealous virgin, who had gotten so embarrassed and had ran off into the night. 

“He didn't come home until this morning,” Andy said. “Dad was angry and demanded where he'd been, but Robert being Robert kicked off and ran away again. We haven't seen him since.” 

Aaron wanted to feel sorry for Robert, but he couldn't. Not after how stupid Robert has been acting lately. Andy and Aaron made their separate ways, and as much as he wanted to make up with Robert, he didn't go in search of him. 

****

It was about two weeks after Robert's sixteenth birthday party when Robert came crashing into Aaron's bedroom. Aaron had been doing his school work on his bed, and about had a heart attack at the sight of his best friend bursting in unannounced. Robert threw himself down on Aaron's bed, scattering his papers all over the floor. 

“Oi!” Aaron shouted and reached for them. He hadn't seen or talked much with Robert in the past two weeks, and it wasn't by Aaron's choice. Robert had been avoiding him. 

“Guess what?” Robert said excitedly. 

“What?” Aaron growled and glared at him. 

“You are looking at Robert Sugden: non virgin,” he flourished his hand to indicate to himself. Aaron's mouth dropped open before he scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah right,” Aaron snapped. “Be serious, Robert.” 

“I am, Aaron! I swear! I had sex.” Aaron saw the twinkle in his eyes and the winning smile on his face, and he knew he had to be telling the truth. The weight of the knowledge crushed Aaron's chest. He had to look away before he started crying. “Aren't you happy for me?” 

_No!_ “Sure,” Aaron lied and plastered a fake smile on his face. “W-Who with?” 

He stuttered. “Nicola Wheeler!” Aaron's mouth dropped open in shock again. 

“Robert she's like . . . old! Why her?” The jealousy raged. 

“She's only twenty-four, Aaron. Not to mention she's hot. Tell me you've never looked at her?” He teased. Aaron wanted to shout that he hadn't. Nicola is far from his type, but Aaron found it better to keep his mouth shut. 

“So,” Aaron said and stopped, he didn't know what to say after that. Congratulations didn't seem right, especially passing Aaron's lips because he was far from happy for Robert. 

“You'll be next!” 

“W-What?” Aaron stammered, taking Robert's words the wrong way. 

“To have sex, you muppet,” Robert laughed. “We'll find you someone. That Holly was pretty and she was looking at you.” 

“R-Robert,” Aaron stuttered,” t-that’s not a good idea. I'm not ready.” 

“Not ready? Aaron you're fifteen. Of course you're ready. Unless you want to be a virgin your whole life.” 

“Well I'm sorry,” Aaron said nastily, “that we all can't have sex with the first person who's willing to spread their legs for us like you can, Robert. Just drop it!” 

“God, what is your problem?” Robert asked angrily. 

“You! You're my problem. It's really pathetic that you go out and have sex with the first poor cow you can find because your brother made fun of you for being a virgin.”

Robert reeled back from Aaron as if he'd slapped him. The darkness flared up in Robert's eyes, and Aaron cringed because it was directed at him. “Well I'm not anymore. Now it's you. You probably won't ever have sex. Who'd want to with a freak like you?” 

“Get out!” Aaron screamed. “Get out of my house Robert Jacob Sugden! You think you're better than everyone but you're not. For God's sake, your own father can't stand you.” Maybe Aaron deserved it, he wasn't too sure, but when Robert's fist connected with his face all he knew at that moment was that he hated Robert. 

Robert got up off the bed and stormed out, slamming the door behind him hard enough to make a crack in the wall above it. Aaron cursed and threw his maths book at the door Robert disappeared out of.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/comments are welcome, please leave feedback if you wish! :)


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